Very late Game 36: USA vs Ireland

Checkmate · 04-04-2015, 01:24 PM

Below is a very prejudiced, stereotype-filled and generally uninformed PBP. You have been warned.

Usa

Checkmate · 04-04-2015, 01:24 PM

Welcome to live BBC coverage of this group stage match-up between our good â€œfriendsâ€ the USA and our â€œfriendlyâ€ neighbours Team Ireland. I suppose the result here is rather predictable with ice hockey powerhouse from America surely on the verge of a dominant performance over a nation best known for drinking and rugby, but I suppose we will have to endure... err, wait and see, shall we?

The starting line-ups here tell a story of their own.

For Team USA,

John Heimer-Schmidt is starting in center, without a doubt a superstar of great dimensions.

Chris â€œDefinitely Not A Defencemanâ€ Partlow is on the wing and across from his it's the man who is the physical manifestation of Team USA, Daniel Merica!

So much passion and patriotism here, exemplified further by the double Chuck combo on defence of hockey superstars Goody and Winnfield.

Finally, Jermaine Tennyson in goal, well known for certainly winning something important during his career. And making saves of course.

Meanwhile, on team leprechaun,

Up front, it's HC Davos Dynamo center Griffin Simons, former LA Panthers goalkeeper and S6 champion Jonathan Kane, and Mexican import Pedro Sarantez. Surely it's a bad sign when you're relying on Mexicans to play hockey for you.

Not much better at the back, with clearly fake Bojo Biscuit, someone called Jed Hackert, and the unknown Jakob Tanner in net.

Well, let's get on with this American victorious procession.

Heimer-Schmidt wins the opening face-off, obviously, and straight away the US almost score through a combination of Merica and Partlow.

Oh, what's this, a shot on target for Ireland. Easily held by Tennyson though, what a class player he is.

My God Ireland are still on the attack. Jaime Hill, best known for being Sachimo Zoidberg's girlfriend, wins a face-off, takes a shot, and there's a rebound AND OH MY WORD IRELAND HAVE SCORED!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! THAT THREE-LEAF CLOVER IS DOING ITS THING! I CAN NOT BELIEVE WHAT I AM SEEING RIGHT NOW!!!

Code:
1. Ireland , Etienne Modano 1 (Jaime Hill, Jordan Uptuck) at 1:25

Well, what can you even say after that? I'm struggling to get my breath back as the Americans are laying down some vicious hits as they are trying to come to terms with this debacle.

Ah, but here we are, returning to the script. Ireland a man down for the next two minutes as Danny Sexbang is off for interference. I hope it was just interference but you never know with a name like that, do you?

And the USA make immediate use of that man advantage! It's tie-game, so quick and beautiful I barely caught it!

Code:
2. USA , Benjamin Reid 1 (John Heimer-Schmidt, Chuck Goody) at 4:24 (PP)

You have to hope the Irish enjoyed their time on top since I don't expect to see them back again tonight.

But you can't fault them for trying as Kendrick Lamar's long-lost Irish cousin Gil Lemar takes a shot from distance but can't beat Tennyson. Obviously. No way Ireland are getting another goal pas Tennyson tonight.

They are keeping possession of the puck though. Here's Kane, to Biscuit (what other nouns are hidden in this pub team?) and here's... LORD GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME THEY HAVE SCORED! AGAIN!!! HOW?!! IRELAND. SCORING TWO GOALS NOW AGAINST THE AMERICANS! IN ICE HOCKEY! THIS ONE BY PEDRO SARANTEZ! PEDRO SARANTEZ OF ALL PEOPLE!

Code:
3. Ireland , Pedro Sarantez 4 (Bojo Biscuit, Jonathan Kane) at 6:05

I don't know what's going on here. Ireland has found all the pots of gold, emptied them, and thrown them at the Americans.

Here's a new chance to equalise though as USA is on the powerplay again. It's bizarre that they need to have an extra player to even compete with Ireland here, but baby steps. Baby steps....

Nothing going here, Ireland is the team benefiting it seems. But here's a shot! Tanner saves! Partlow on the rebound! Tanner saves! Partlow again! TANNER IS IRELAND'S HERO!

I've been quiet for a while now as there has been little to report but it's been remarkably balanced as we approach the end of the first period. I might have to re-read my Irish hockey facts.

And there's the buzzer. Ireland up 2-1 on the US and have 10 shots to the Americans' 7 as well! USA really need to step it up so I win what I thought was my safe bet. Christ.

Second period begins slowly, at least Ireland doesn't score within two minutes. That Hill-Modano partnership does try to spark things into action again though until it's smothered by Tennyson.

Ridiculous pressure by Modano as Tennyson comes up big with two more saves but here's the Americans, surely, now OOHOOOHHHHH Heimer-Schmidt hits the post!! They needed a goal there but the Irish dream lives on instead!

It's the Tanner vs Tennyson show here and it's great but attacking quality is lacking. Here's Kane with a shot! Big block by Benjamin Reid. USA can't afford to concede another to the underdogs.

And after more unsuccessful goalmouth action, the second period comes to a close. Jakob Tanner and especially Jermaine Tennyson are the heroes are the shots are 13-8 Ireland and 23-15 Ireland overall. A perfect performance so far I have to admit.

20 minutes left to save face for the Americans. Not a good start as Nathan Russell is sent off for goalie interference â€“ clearly Tanner's superb showing getting on his nerves.

Ireland circling the puck well, Simons with a shot! Save by Tennyson! Tommy Creller wins the face-off, shoots, HITS THE POST! That's 1-1 in post hitting! Sarantez WIDE, Biscuit WIDE! Creller again! Tennyson lets the puck slip but first period hero Sarantez misses from a tight angle!! Creller tries his luck, Sarantez picks it up and finally Tennyson holds on! Ireland could have killed the game there.

Powerplay ends but it doesn't get any easier for the Americans. This Irish team is hungry for the win, each line change bringing on new waves of attack. Simons, Sawyer, Lemar, Modano all with shots by Tennyson is keeping this a one-goal game (words I never expected to say).

Pedro Sarantez, the Latino Irishman from hell, really wants to contribute even more than he already has so a vicious hit causes Chris Partlow to lose the puck. Sarantez advances, he's hit by Chuck Winnfield but the puck squirms through to Kane.

Kane... one-timer OH HE'S SCORED! That might well be that for the USA. Unbelievable. Can't say they deserve anymore is they're conceding goals to Mexicans and long-retired goaltenders.

Code:
4. Ireland , Jonathan Kane 3 (Griffin Simons, Giovanni Mortallaro II) at 16:13

The Irish domination is such that the USA can't even pull their goalie. Griffin Simons with a late face-off win in the Americans' zone. It's out to Eustachian, passes to Kane, another one-time goal?! NO! Sarantez accidentally gets in the way and it's wide.

Pedro Sarantez, looking to make amends, shot from up close...

SCORES! Second goal of the game for Sarantez and that definitely seals it.

Code:
5. Ireland , Pedro Sarantez 5 (Jonathan Kane, Eustace Eustachian) at 19:19

That's it. Domination. No other way to call it. 14-4 shots in favour of Ireland in the third as they went for the throat. Tennyson's save percentage might look worse compared to Tanner but he kept this team alive for so long. But Ireland get a deserved victory and the two teams now have matching 3-2-2 records. It's all to play for.

Stats to come.

Checkmate · 04-04-2015, 01:26 PM

3 Stars

1 - Jonathan Kane (IRL)
2 - Pedro Sarantez (IRL)
3 - Etienne Modano (IRL)

Jermaine Tennyson (USA), 33 saves from 37 shots - (0.892), L, 3-2-2, 60:00 minutes
Jakob Tanner (IRL), 18 saves from 19 shots - (0.947), W, 3-2-2, 60:00 minutes

USA:

Code:
Player Name &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;G &nbsp;A &nbsp;P &nbsp;+/- PIM S &nbsp;H &nbsp;SB GA TA FO &nbsp; &nbsp; MP &nbsp; &nbsp; PP MP &nbsp;PK MP &nbsp;

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Barney Stinson &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;-2 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 1 &nbsp;4 &nbsp;2 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0/0 &nbsp; &nbsp;24:14 &nbsp; 1:40 &nbsp; 4:18 

Benjamin Reid &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;1 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;1 &nbsp;-2 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 2 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;2 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0/0 &nbsp; &nbsp;23:54 &nbsp; 2:30 &nbsp; 1:01 

Bradley Wingels &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;-1 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 1 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0/0 &nbsp; &nbsp;13:08 &nbsp; 2:49 &nbsp; 0:00 

Chris Partlow &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;-2 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 3 &nbsp;2 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;1/1 &nbsp; &nbsp;22:00 &nbsp; 1:23 &nbsp; 6:42 

Chuck Goody &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;0 &nbsp;1 &nbsp;1 &nbsp;-1 &nbsp;4 &nbsp; 3 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0/0 &nbsp; &nbsp;20:35 &nbsp; 2:49 &nbsp; 3:02 

Chuck Winnfield &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;-2 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;2 &nbsp;1 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0/0 &nbsp; &nbsp;30:24 &nbsp; 1:40 &nbsp; 5:25 

Computer Eagle &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0/0 &nbsp; &nbsp; 0:00 &nbsp; 0:00 &nbsp; 0:00 

Computer McDonald &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0/0 &nbsp; &nbsp; 0:38 &nbsp; 0:00 &nbsp; 0:00 

Computer Obama &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0/0 &nbsp; &nbsp; 0:00 &nbsp; 0:00 &nbsp; 0:00 

Daniel Merica &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;-3 &nbsp;4 &nbsp; 4 &nbsp;2 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;5/8 &nbsp; &nbsp;26:29 &nbsp; 1:40 &nbsp; 3:03 

Jamers Both &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;1 &nbsp;1 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0/0 &nbsp; &nbsp; 8:09 &nbsp; 0:00 &nbsp; 0:00 

John Heimer-Schmidt &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;0 &nbsp;1 &nbsp;1 &nbsp;-2 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;11/21 &nbsp;16:41 &nbsp; 2:49 &nbsp; 0:14 

Kyle Keenan &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;-1 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 3 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;17/33 &nbsp;28:27 &nbsp; 1:40 &nbsp; 5:35 

Nathan Russell &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;-1 &nbsp;2 &nbsp; 1 &nbsp;2 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;2/3 &nbsp; &nbsp;19:32 &nbsp; 0:36 &nbsp; 4:51 

Rehn Miller &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;-1 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 1 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;6/12 &nbsp; 10:28 &nbsp; 0:00 &nbsp; 0:00 

Ryan Sullivan &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;-1 &nbsp;2 &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;3 &nbsp;1 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0/0 &nbsp; &nbsp;16:31 &nbsp; 0:00 &nbsp; 3:16 

Snowden Manning &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;-1 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;2 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0/2 &nbsp; &nbsp;19:19 &nbsp; 2:49 &nbsp; 2:13 

Sterling Knight &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;1 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0/0 &nbsp; &nbsp; 7:31 &nbsp; 0:00 &nbsp; 0:00

Ireland:

Code:
Player Name &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;G &nbsp;A &nbsp;P &nbsp;+/- PIM S &nbsp;H &nbsp;SB GA TA FO &nbsp; &nbsp; MP &nbsp; &nbsp; PP MP &nbsp;PK MP &nbsp;

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bojo Biscuit &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;1 &nbsp;1 &nbsp; 1 &nbsp;2 &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;3 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0/0 &nbsp; &nbsp;24:01 &nbsp; 5:19 &nbsp; 2:03 

Computer Alvarez &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0/0 &nbsp; &nbsp; 0:00 &nbsp; 0:00 &nbsp; 0:00 

Computer Ashford &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0/0 &nbsp; &nbsp; 0:00 &nbsp; 0:00 &nbsp; 0:00 

Computer Bellamont &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0/0 &nbsp; &nbsp; 0:00 &nbsp; 0:00 &nbsp; 0:00 

Danny Sexbang &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 1 &nbsp;2 &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;1 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0/1 &nbsp; &nbsp;15:16 &nbsp; 0:00 &nbsp; 0:34 

Etienne Modano &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 1 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;1 &nbsp; 1 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 6 &nbsp;2 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0/0 &nbsp; &nbsp;14:43 &nbsp; 0:00 &nbsp; 0:00 

Eustace Eustachian &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;1 &nbsp;1 &nbsp; 2 &nbsp;2 &nbsp; 1 &nbsp;1 &nbsp;1 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0/0 &nbsp; &nbsp;12:56 &nbsp; 0:29 &nbsp; 0:52 

Gil Lemar &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 4 &nbsp;2 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;1/1 &nbsp; &nbsp;20:08 &nbsp; 4:10 &nbsp; 0:00 

Giovanni Mortallaro II &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;1 &nbsp;1 &nbsp; 1 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 1 &nbsp;3 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0/0 &nbsp; &nbsp;23:26 &nbsp; 4:23 &nbsp; 1:43 

Griffin Simons &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;1 &nbsp;1 &nbsp; 3 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 4 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;11/22 &nbsp;20:47 &nbsp; 4:46 &nbsp; 1:58 

Jacob Cunningham &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 1 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 1 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0/0 &nbsp; &nbsp;21:43 &nbsp; 4:23 &nbsp; 0:00 

Jaime Hill &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;1 &nbsp;1 &nbsp; 1 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 1 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;11/21 &nbsp;16:06 &nbsp; 0:16 &nbsp; 0:00 

Jed Hackert &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 1 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 1 &nbsp;1 &nbsp;1 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0/0 &nbsp; &nbsp;24:42 &nbsp; 5:16 &nbsp; 2:46 

Jonathan Kane &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;1 &nbsp;2 &nbsp;3 &nbsp; 3 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 5 &nbsp;3 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0/2 &nbsp; &nbsp;20:47 &nbsp; 4:46 &nbsp; 1:58 

Jordan Uptuck &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;0 &nbsp;1 &nbsp;1 &nbsp; 2 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 1 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0/0 &nbsp; &nbsp;12:36 &nbsp; 0:00 &nbsp; 1:00 

Pedro Sarantez &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 2 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;2 &nbsp; 3 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 6 &nbsp;3 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;1/2 &nbsp; &nbsp;20:24 &nbsp; 5:29 &nbsp; 0:00 

Tom Sawyer &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;2 &nbsp; 3 &nbsp;4 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0/1 &nbsp; &nbsp;22:30 &nbsp; 5:09 &nbsp; 2:31 

Tommy Creller &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp; 3 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;0 &nbsp;14/30 &nbsp;23:23 &nbsp; 5:09 &nbsp; 2:31

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